Frequently Asked Questions
Everything you need to know about professional matchmaking and how TrustedMatchmakers can help you find lasting love.
About this directory
What is TrustedMatchmakers?
A directory of professional matchmaking practices across the United States, compiled from publicly available material and maintained by working matchmakers. It exists so that someone considering a matchmaker can compare practices by city and specialty, understand what the work actually involves, and know what to ask before signing anything. Listings are free and cannot be purchased.
Do you verify the matchmakers listed here?
No, and we would rather say so plainly. Listings are compiled from each firm's own website and other publicly available material, so appearing here is not an endorsement or a check of any kind. What we do record, where it exists, is whether a matchmaker holds a Global Love Institute certification or belongs to the Matchmakers Alliance, taken from published sources. Verify anything that matters to you directly with the firm.
How much does it cost to use TrustedMatchmakers?
Nothing. Browsing the directory and requesting a recommendation are both free. Matchmakers set their own fees, which vary widely by tier and by how difficult a search is. Where we introduce a client to a matchmaker, that matchmaker may pay us a referral fee. Listings themselves are free and cannot be bought.
How matchmaking works
How does professional matchmaking work?
It runs in three stages. First the matchmaker works to understand you properly, which is where a niche matters, whether that is cultural, religious or geographic. Second they work out how to present you, including which kinds of dates you will shine on and feel comfortable in. Third they search their database and network, make introductions, and refine after each one based on the feedback from both sides.
What is included in a matchmaking service?
Usually a number of introductions, or at least a stated expectation of how many. Date counts are an imperfect measure, because a client can meet the right person early. Beyond the introductions themselves, offerings vary widely. Some matchmakers work with stylists and dating coaches as part of the engagement, others bill those separately, and others do not offer them at all. Ask which, in writing, before you sign.
How does a matchmaker find potential partners?
From their own database first, then from their team and professional network. Matchmakers collaborate more than most buyers expect. Organizations such as the Global Love Institute and the Matchmakers Alliance connect practitioners, and some share databases between them. For a harder search, a matchmaker will run an active outreach campaign, closer to executive recruitment than to dating. Ask any firm how it sources, because the answer varies a great deal.
Does a matchmaker search outside their existing database?
Many do, and it is worth asking, because coverage is uneven. A firm headquartered in New York may have real depth there and very little in Washington, in which case it will either partner with a local matchmaker or draw on another database. Recruiting someone who never signed up takes real time. Ask what share of your introductions will come from the existing pool and what share will be found for you.
How are potential matches screened and vetted?
Methods vary and none of them is a guarantee. Some firms run online database searches, some retain a private investigator or a security service, and some ask a candidate who says they are divorced to produce the court papers. What screening reliably does is deter. Most people intending fraud will not sit for an interview with a matchmaker, which removes a category of risk before anyone meets.
How many introductions will I receive?
It depends on the firm, and the definitions differ more than the numbers do. Some guarantee a set number, others describe the engagement as unlimited. Some count three introductions you decline as a single match, which is a reasonable way to discourage clients who want to browse a candidate pool rather than actually date. Get the definition of an introduction in writing before you sign anything.
How long does it usually take to meet someone through matchmaking?
For a client who is sincere, intentional and realistic about what they are looking for, many matchmakers expect to reach a serious relationship within about six months, sometimes sooner. What extends a search is rarely supply. It is usually how the dating itself is going. Where there are blind spots, a round of coaching or a change in presentation often does more than more introductions would.
Why don't matchmakers publish success rates?
Because a rate depends almost entirely on who a firm agrees to take on. Experienced matchmakers turn away clients they do not believe they can place, which keeps their outcomes high and their fees higher. Larger agencies accept far more of the people who approach them, and their rate is correspondingly lower. A published number without that context tells you very little about your own chances.
Choosing a matchmaker
How do I choose the right matchmaker?
By how the first conversation goes. Ask yourself whether you felt seen and heard, whether they actually understood what you are looking for, and whether they seemed motivated to find it. One useful test: would the partner you are hoping to meet enjoy meeting this matchmaker? Credentials matter far less than fit, and their niche should line up with the one you are searching in.
What should I ask before hiring a matchmaker?
Four questions beyond the obvious ones. How would you describe me to a potential match, and what do you see as my strengths? Why do you think we are a good fit to work together? Do you have the database for the people I am actually looking to meet? And do you offer a refund? Most firms do not, because much of the work happens up front.
What is the difference between a solo matchmaker and a national firm?
National firms often carry larger databases and handle searches across several cities more easily. That advantage depends entirely on your niche, because a large general pool is not the same as depth in the community you are actually looking in. A solo matchmaker may not have coverage everywhere, so set expectations early. Ask about their niche, their team and their size before you decide which kind you need.
How do I know a matchmaker is legitimate?
There is no licensing requirement in this profession, so look instead at how they learned the work. Ask where they trained, whether they hold a certification, and whether they belong to a professional body. Ask whether they collaborate with other matchmakers and attend industry events, because an isolated practice has a smaller network to draw on. None of it is a guarantee, but all of it is checkable.
How do I compare matchmaking services?
Not on price, which is where most people start and it is the wrong place to start. Compare on fit. Does this matchmaker bring out the best in you? Do you feel understood well enough to date confidently after speaking with them? And do they have the niche and the database that match what you are actually looking for? Those three decide the outcome. Price does not.
What confidentiality should I expect, and what should be in writing?
Expect discretion rather than anonymity. No matchmaker can guarantee confidentiality, and at some point your date will know your name. What you can agree in advance is the protocol: what is shared, with whom, and at what stage you are named. Hiding your identity entirely works against an honest start, and most matchmakers would rather two people met without having researched each other first.
Can a matchmaker work across multiple cities or internationally?
Some do, and it is worth asking directly. Ask which markets a firm genuinely works in and where its expertise actually sits. A firm that claims every market is unlikely to have real depth in all of them. Coverage is the thing to test, because a search run remotely in a city where the firm has no network will move more slowly than one run at home.
What is the difference between a matchmaker and a dating app?
An app is built on volume and designed to keep you using it, which is not the same thing as helping you settle down. That is the business model. Apps also carry fraud and false profiles, and AI has made it harder to tell who actually wrote a message. No process is foolproof, but someone intending fraud will not sit for an interview with a matchmaker first.
Cost and getting started
How much does a matchmaker cost?
Between roughly $8,000 and $500,000, depending on what you are buying. Independent matchmakers working one city usually run $10,000 to $25,000. National firms with a dedicated recruiter run $25,000 to $150,000. Most people who hire a matchmaker pay between $8,000 and $40,000 for a six month engagement. Our price guide breaks the whole market down by tier, with a source for every figure.
Are initial consultations really free?
With most firms, yes. A short introductory call, usually 15 to 30 minutes, is standard practice and lets both sides work out whether there is a fit before anyone commits. Treat it as a two way interview rather than a sales call, and take your questions in with you. A firm that quotes a price before that conversation is selling a package rather than running a search.
Am I a good candidate for matchmaking?
It works best for people who are genuinely ready for a committed relationship, realistic about what they are looking for, and open to feedback. It suits those whose problem is match quality rather than match quantity, whose time is scarce, or for whom discretion matters. If you are getting first dates but not second dates, the constraint is not supply, and coaching will help more than more introductions.
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